It is cloudy today, and I guess I have gotten spoiled with the sunshine because I feel entirely put out that there is no sunlight streaming through my dirty windows. To compensate, I am listening to Kokomo, of course, and Walk Off The Earth. If you haven't heard them sing Summer Vibe, you should. Especially in February, when it's cloudy.
Today is a day with a lot of pain. I am trying to ignore it but it's not working. So then I distract myself with ideas of how to deal with it. Like going for a 6 mile sprint, but then I imagine getting a quarter mile in and ending up curled on the cold sidewalk and having to figure out how to get back to the house without moving. So then I think about drugs, but A) none of them are helping B) the pain is making me too nauseous to eat anything to buffer them and C) none of them are helping. I also feel like my brain is slowly decomposing and I can't formulate any coherent thoughts. I am blaming drugs but since I have been skipping them a lot maybe it's actually the pain that's making me fuzzy. Which gives me all the more reason to hate it. I contemplate posting something on Facebook about how I feel like I am in labor, but with no baby, but realize nobody wants to hear that, and the gratuitious nod of sympathy I would get would only highlight my desperate grab for attention or help or???? It seems like shopping helps with the pain, but it turns out I spent all of our money AND I don't need anything, except another pair of Lambie Ballet slippers from Bath and Body Works, which are going for $80 on eBay. I must have good taste. They are my all time favorite slippers, and for anyone familiar with my slipper fetish, that's a lot of like. I should be listing stuff on eBay, doing laundry, cleaning my disgusting house, organizing the office, making a spread sheet I have been putting off for a week, and a million other things, but I stand up from the couch, and when I recover from almost passing out, I can't remember what I was going to do. So I reheat my heat pack (which is one of those little bears from Costco - love it) and sit back down. Stupid Uterus. One more listen to Summer Vibe, and maybe I will feel better. Or Kokomo, with Emmy.