Dear Amazon Prime:
I love you so much. I hope you don't hate me when I tell you that I need to spend some time apart from you. It's Josh, you see. He's becoming suspicious that he is being replaced. And if you and I have any hope of a relationship in the future, I must keep my marriage alive. Don't think I won't miss you. Or that I'm not thinking about you every minute. And everything you have to offer. You complete me. You fill every need that I can think of. Without fees or hassle, one click and you're there. I will always love you for that. Just because I neglect you for a little while, don't think I've given up on us. I will come back to you. I will lavish you with all of the attention and affection you deserve. In the meantime we must bear our pain in silence. The deprivation of mutual happiness. We must be strong and have hope for better days to come. Rich and plentiful days. When we will never have to part again. Don't forget about me. I will miss you.
PS - Don't forget to send the vitamins I ordered today!