ThingsThat I Have Decided

1) Never eat dessert alone. All of the deliciousness in the world is wasted calories if you can't share the bliss with someone. Which is why I have ice cream freezerburning, shortcake molding and raspberries rotting in my refrigerator. It's like drinking alone. It's just a bad idea. And pointless. Unless you are a really unhealthy person.

2) Sitting at home alone and losing myself in Pinterest is a good idea as long as it doesn't lead to eBay searches for "smokey bear vintage" or "toilet contour rug" because one ends in financial ruin, the other in ultimate disappointment in the human race. Or perhaps just in myself for not finding this before:

3) As much as I complain, I really like life better with my family around. Hands down.

4) Sometimes, Too Much of Nothing Can Make a Man Feel Ill At Ease

5) Mopping floors and then inviting seven thousand kids over to help you do stuff is really pointless.

7) Especially if that stuff involves any type of painting or paint - related materials. 

8) Paint-related materials are most easily removed from wiener dog ears by rubbing them on furniture. I am working on a Pinterest tutorial for this. 

9) Haviana's taste best when mom leaves you home alone with only three other dogs for the day and you are a 7 month old piranha/dachshund/pterodactyl cross. 

10) Having husbands that are not at home with you is really silly. 

11) I would trade life in a cardboard box WITH my people for all the mansions in heaven. 

12) The awesome relief of good friends and good people and being LIKED (mostly) can't be overstated. It's good to have people. Really good. Here, there and everywhere. 

13) Dog doors are VERY SCARY when they are new. It's safest to poop in the house. 

14) Make sure, if the washing machine is running late at night, that you bark at it. Incessantly and Loudly. For All of The World To Hear. 

15) Sometimes having no major obligations is terribly overwhelming. (see also: Idle hands are the devils playground)

16) Having a cop for a close friend is almost as scary as having a convicted felon for a neighbor. (no sir, I did not bring an open container in my car, to your house.)

17. Being a military wife is BA. Almost as BA as being military myself. But not really. 

Josh says I look stoic. I think I look HOT. Or maybe cold. I got drenched in a torrential downpour shortly before and was shivering. 

18.  Sometimes, you can't fight who you are. And you have to buy a vintage Smokey Bear sleeping bag for $50. Or paint cabinets badly, or give your big hound kisses even when he's misbehaving and smells terribly. Sometimes, you just shouldn't mop the floors at all. 

19. Clothing on hangers is extremely hard to visualize and access for daily wardrobing. The floor is much more convenient for these operations. 

20. Without the one who loves me here, I am uncriticized, uncorrected, undirected, but miserable. My vices are only fun when they're irking him. My quirks are only silly when he's here to notice. Without him, I am boring and flat, and no matter how many things I do, they seem meaningless. Hurry Home Josh Weston. I am not me without you. 

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