With the glint of fear in his eyes, Josh scraped some barbecue sauce off on one end of his now ruined, but previously masterfully concocted sandwich, took a bite, and pronounced it "really good. and I don't like cube steak." Luckily cube steak sandwiches do not call for steak knives. Or that glint might have been replaced with a serrated blade.
Ever so tentatively, he's been asking what I would like to do for the evening. And as I gag theatrically on my overstrong tequila drink, I imagine all kinds of medieval torture devices I would like to experiment with. Josh quickly returns to his work, and lucky for him, the smart sucker - the tequila starts to kick in.
It doesn't help that I woke up in pain this morning and have been chasing it in waves throughout the day until finally I took a LARGE dose of painkillers and slept for four hours. The pain killers took the edge off of the pain but provided a nice dose of nausea and the four hour nap just made me feel like I had been marinading in dirty laundry for several days. How naps can be so good and so destructive all at once, I will never understand.
I feel bad for being so completely ridiculous. But it's really hard when things This Serious crop up. And then he starts picking the peely skin on the back of his heels and HE KNOWS I hate that. It's like he's just trying to make me despise him. It's an intense test of my self control. Which probably means I will go to bed in about 10 minutes.
The poor boy doesn't get that now is NOT the appropriate time to look up the Washington State EMT Basic Protocols and tell me that I was actually wrong about Nitro administration. Nor does he understand that wanting to go over remodel plans for our house and choose countertop colors is a really bad idea in This Exact Moment. Of course you're surprised that I don't like mocha brown paperstone counters honey, it's because you have no taste. Or style. And also, you're just showing me ugly colors to test me and pick a fight. Yeah, it went something like that. And probably the roofline for the new addition will never be settled upon.
To purge the sense of awfulness and pity for my Darling Husband that I am sure this has left you with, I shall bequeath upon you some poignant words of brilliant characters that totally back me up: