Things About This Day

I got two of my new vintage aprons today. They're cool. They are a little bit too long, but have pockets. And they were made by a woman named Marge. That makes them extra cool. Now I can get busy for sure in the kitchen.

yes, I am wearing something under it. seriously, you guys. 

It is September 11th. I went to a commemorative assembly at the school this morning where I was scolded for not wearing my fire department shirt by some people, scolded for not sitting with the responders by others, and scolded by my daughter for being there at all. Apparently within the last 24 hours I have earned the rank of Worst Mother In The World, after I let Josh go up and help the four younger cousins & sister clean up her room, which had been the battlefield for a frenzied Lego war. He touched something wrong, I guess, and isn't supposed to be in her room at all, which is interesting, considering he PAYS FOR IT. She gave each of us a severe tongue lashing, and apparently I was grounded from being seen in public because I was severely reprimanded for showing up for the 9-11 assembly. That's why I didn't wear a uniform of any sort. I was there as a mother. To shame my daughter, as she delivered a 45 second speech about the responders that died in the twin towers. I was there to remind her that I am a mother first, and a responder, and maybe someday, a hero. Whether Josh moves her dirty clothes or not. I must have been forgiven and ungrounded by noon because I stopped by for lunch at the special ed room, where all of my favorite people hang out (why is that so weird?) and she came to see me there.

September 11th changed us as a nation, but there are moments that I wonder if all of the changes have been good. Or if we have adopted an even more arrogant philosophy that American's aren't allowed to suffer. That it's a crime against humanity to wound the American Pride, and we should be dealing with more important things than terrorist attacks, like stepdads invading bedrooms. MacKenzie was 4 when the towers fell. We lived in a tiny straw house, with dirt floors and some sort of improvised running water. MacKenzie was happy to have new shoes and hot dogs for dinner. When did life get so much more ridiculous? I take full responsibility for forgetting to teach my kids that good things must be earned. That nothing comes without hard work. That no earthly possession is worth as much as a relationship, a family. I know that they are teenagers, and one day this knowledge will come to them. I have faith in that. But I feel like I have not done a good job imparting it to them. And Josh agrees heartily. How do you teach your child gratitude and humility? To prefer other human beings above themselves, even sisters (ew)? I don't think it totally occurred to me until I had my heart chewed up and spit out and then I turned and did it to someone else, that nothing could be as important as loving others more than yourself. I love this country. And it shakes me to my core when our vulnerability to random acts of terror is showcased as it was on this day 12 years ago. I am ashamed that part of our response to this exposure was to puff up arrogantly, shake our collective fist,  and spend thousands of lives to put those crazies in their place. I absolutely think we needed to respond, but I think we also should have done some cultural resetting, realizing that the superficial icons of our country didn't hold any weight compared to our family, our liberties, our beliefs. But it's easier to focus on the bad guys than to look inside and get into an argument about where we have gone wrong. We're so busy running the rest of the world that our own household is out of order. Story of my life.

this is totally what I will look like in these, right?
But now I have aprons. Which means my household WILL BE in order. Which means I will make pints and pints of glorious salsa today. In addition to vintage aprons, I ordered a pair of Zaggora HotPants to wear when I exercise. Or mostly when I don't, which is often what I do. I ordered them because the model looked really good in them, which means they MUST WORK, right? I am a sucker for that kind of thing. And I want them to work. I want to burn extra calories when I am not-exercising, even if they make a weird swishy noise when I walk. I am going to wear them for a few weeks. Maybe every day. All Day. Without washing them (ok fine, I will wash them). And then I am going to let you know how Skinny I Have Become. Of course, letting you know how Skinny I Have Become is contingent upon me measuring myself to find out how Skinny I Am Not right now, and I am really adverse to doing that. I had to measure myself to figure out which size to order, and then I had to go throw up real quick. After I threw up I was able to go down a size, which was encouraging, but still. I hate measuring. And weighing. The battery on our scale has been dying for some time now. When you turn it on it just reads LO. I thought for a few days it was congratulating me on weight loss, and then I realized it was talking about the battery, and once I reset it it would actually weigh me. The results have been so offensive that I feel compelled to attribute it to the waning battery. Clearly the thing is WAY OFF. So I had Josh pick up a new battery today. Installing a new battery means I will not set foot on the darn thing until I have worn my new HotPants for a few weeks, for fear the appalling numbers were not really the fault of a dying battery. My ever-rational line of reason tells me that I am carrying so much water weight that the HotPants will just sweat the pounds right off of me while I am not-exercising. I can only hope. I have started juicing again, but my juice was so gross today that I actually cheated and threw away the last few tablespoons. I always forget that limes must be used sparingly in juice. Especially when I have a whole Costco bag of limes to use up. I will put some in my salsa today, instead of my juice. In addition to juicing I have been sampling that Spark drink from advocare, which has lots of vitamins and I think I might like. I will let you know. I have also finally decided to eat reasonable food, like lots of vegetables and fresh stuff. Over the weekend I was on something of a comfort food kick. Another good reason to avoid the cruel bathroom scale. But what do you think - HotPants and Apron? Yep, that's what I thought.

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