He hasn't called. He's not texting. He's not sending flowers or love letters or asking me out on dates. He isn't liking my Facebook posts or even reading my blog - that I know of. He's so out of touch with me that I am not sure that we will ever work out...
If I could ever meet the Love of My Life, face to face, I would like to ask him some things, like why it took him so long to decide to commit to me, and what the most important thing in his life is. If his answer is elk season, the Seahawks, his truck or his job, while I respect all of those things as Major Life Priorities, I think I would have to reevaluate the potential success of our Bond of Love. If his answer is his kids, relationship, integrity (that's a favorite for guys to throw around), or beer - then we have some common ground to build on. It would be a relief to know.
For me, the most important thing in life is relationship, and when you shake it down, the priorities of kids, integrity and, yes, even beer, can all be reduced down to that one. Because you can't love your kids without knowing them, without having relationship that gives you access to protect and provide for them. And you can't have integrity (which means being the same person behind closed doors that you are in front of the world) for any other reason than to build trust and protect relationships. And you can't drink beer well without good people in your life.
I know some ex-husbands that would argue that the priority of work over all else can also be distilled down to relationship, since it's only through work that you can provide for loved ones and pay for quality family time, but I believe the best times in life are free, and the best relationships aren't based on need. Not that I am advocating joblessness, but money - that's a periphery thing. Vital perhaps, but not The Most Important Thing.
My friend Christy keeps telling me that I need to write a list of all of the requirements (or at least wishes) for the Love of My Life and lock it away, so that when he finally comes around I can pull it out and go down the checklist. Every time I have tried to make this list I come up dry after "doesn't have an annoying laugh". Because every other thing, all of the tall, dark, handsome, uniformed, intelligent, funny, young at heart items on the list are all things that can be negotiated to some extent if the bottom line of Same Priority has been met.
I am sure that when we finally discuss it, the Love of My Life and me, we will find that our values line up beautifully. If not then I guess he's not really the Love of My Life, no matter how much I want for him to be, as I have experienced a few times over.
Once that conversation is over, the only question that remains is why the hell it took him so long to catch up to me? Doesn't he know how short life is? Doesn't he know I am getting old? There will be some explaining to do for sure.
In the meantime, I guess I will be content (ha!) knowing that he is out there, making his way to me in his own sweet time.